Categories
Humor

Smoking, Drinking or Work

8_hour_day-de.jpg

For those that can’t read German, like me:

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 minutes

A glass of whiskey shortens your life by 4 minutes

A day at work shortens your life by 8 hours!!!

Categories
Humor

Smoking, Drinking or Work

8_hour_day-de.jpg

For those that can’t read German, like me:

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 minutes

A glass of whiskey shortens your life by 4 minutes

A day at work shortens your life by 8 hours!!!

Categories
Humor Personal Philosophy Religon

Nunc Dimittis

Read it. Seldom can so few words make one laugh and cry.

I am reminded of why I once wanted to become a priest but didn’t.

Categories
Humor Politics

New Living Will

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren’t in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don’t care how many fundamentalist votes they’re trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else’s life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn’t care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don’t know these people, and I certainly haven’t authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

_______________________________________

Signature

__________________________________

Witness

Categories
Humor

TPS Memo

Initech Header
Did you get the DTPS Memo?

Categories
Humor

TPS Memo

Initech Header
Did you get the DTPS Memo?

Categories
Humor News Politics Reviews

Way to go John Stewart

Oh the irony. John Stewart Bitchslaps Crossfire and ther retort, saying he softballed John Kerry. So now even the journalists are treating The Daily Show as a serious source of news. Do yourself a favor and get the show by BitTorrent or read the transcript.
On a related note I picked up America (The Book) which is turning into a real work of art. Totally styled like a school text book but probably more informative. And there is a forward from Thomas Jefferson,

P.S. Oh, and is it true Halle Berry is once again single? If so, I’d be forever in your debt if you would put in a good word for T.J. Oh how I loves the mochachina.

Oh, the humor and education in just a P.S.

Categories
Humor Politics

Pirates & Emperors

In the style of Schoolhouse Rock, Pirates & Emperors, a critique on current U.S. foriegn policy.

Categories
Humor Politics

Seriously

Check out Mother in Park a 30 sec spot. Seriously funny

Categories
Humor

British Kung Fu

We don’t want any of that Jackie Chan Bollocks !,
British Kung Fu