Lawyers are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
The other night I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, “I wish you’d have come to me sooner.”