When I Die

Instructions In The Event That The Bus I’m On Suddenly Spins Out of Control and Crashes and I Die

I have a collection of pornography on my hard drive in a folder called �reference.� Delete it.

Which makes me wonder, what “I really didn’t want to know” types of things are found when sorting through the departed’s belongings.

If you have a memorial for me, everyone who talks has to mention at least one thing they couldn�t stand about me. Make this clear up front: no one gets to speak without mentioning at least one negative. And it can�t be a bullshit negative like, He was too fucking funny. I�m not kidding about this. It�s my last request.

One memoriable memorials was for a kid who died of cancer shortly after graduating from highschool. Sometime during the kemo treatments he bought a bottle of champagne. It was to be drunk when he went into remission or at his memorial where he also wanted everything he owned sold to pay for a party for all his friend. I heard that the champagne was great and the party even better.