Month: September 2001

WTC emotions…
Like many out there I have been trying to come to grips with 9/11, after all it was soposed to be just engel’s birthday. I actually work up early, which is strange as folks that know me can attest, and just read some email til engel called. I was expecting it was him just making sure I didn’t over sleep like that day before. “Is the TV on, trun it on”, or something like that. Something is wrong from the sound of his voice. “Which channel?” I ask, “any…” And I end up on one of the Canadian networks to the sight of the World Trade Center towers on fire. Engel says to get a shower and watch from Iambe and his place. When I get out of the shower the first tower starts to drop.
Til mid afternoon I watch the TV coverage with engel and ocassionally check the net news with iambe. Through it out I’m not feeling really anything. Iambe periodicly comes into the TV room with news form IRC in tears but still I’m not really having any emotions. I have been leary to talk or even write about how little was going on inside, that felt strange. Then Friday morning get into work and check email to something from muckhead, on of the Java coders and local. He has uploaded a desktop wallpaper from Digital Blasphemy of the U.S. flag. Shortly afterwards the “old guy from support :)” one of the most Canadians of the company comes over to the developer room. He has the Canadian memorial service on in the nest. It seemed like everyone in the company is in there.
Then it hits me. All the emotions that I have been unable to feel come poreing out. I think it was the feeling of support from the Canadians. I knew, know, that I will be here for a while. That it will be a while til I cross the border back into the U.S. Partly because the border is now much harder to cross, even though it is so close. Partly because this is becoming my home. But feeling support of the Canadians helped to give me the security I guess I needed to finally deal with what I had been feeling.
So thank you to all the Canadians who have helped at least this American through some of the pain and fear he is dealing with. Thank you…

WTC emotions…
Like many out there I have been trying to come to grips with 9/11, after all it was soposed to be just engel’s birthday. I actually work up early, which is strange as folks that know me can attest, and just read some email til engel called. I was expecting it was him just making sure I didn’t over sleep like that day before. “Is the TV on, trun it on”, or something like that. Something is wrong from the sound of his voice. “Which channel?” I ask, “any…” And I end up on one of the Canadian networks to the sight of the World Trade Center towers on fire. Engel says to get a shower and watch from Iambe and his place. When I get out of the shower the first tower starts to drop.
Til mid afternoon I watch the TV coverage with engel and ocassionally check the net news with iambe. Through it out I’m not feeling really anything. Iambe periodicly comes into the TV room with news form IRC in tears but still I’m not really having any emotions. I have been leary to talk or even write about how little was going on inside, that felt strange. Then Friday morning get into work and check email to something from muckhead, on of the Java coders and local. He has uploaded a desktop wallpaper from Digital Blasphemy of the U.S. flag. Shortly afterwards the “old guy from support :)” one of the most Canadians of the company comes over to the developer room. He has the Canadian memorial service on in the nest. It seemed like everyone in the company is in there.
Then it hits me. All the emotions that I have been unable to feel come poreing out. I think it was the feeling of support from the Canadians. I knew, know, that I will be here for a while. That it will be a while til I cross the border back into the U.S. Partly because the border is now much harder to cross, even though it is so close. Partly because this is becoming my home. But feeling support of the Canadians helped to give me the security I guess I needed to finally deal with what I had been feeling.
So thank you to all the Canadians who have helped at least this American through some of the pain and fear he is dealing with. Thank you…