“Our societal myths about marriage blind us to an astonishing reality: In just one generation an institution in which most of us still believe has been largely abolished � even as we continue to marry and divorce, dutifully carrying on as if nothing had happened, like Pod People in a trance.
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Marriage will fundamentally change or die in coming decades, and only those willing to change it can hope to preserve it.
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Something deep within us longs to meet our beloved, who will complete, love, honor and care for us in sickness and in health till death do us part. My perfect mate will understand and accept me: We will always be able to tell each other the truth, make beautiful love, laugh, sing, and take romantic walks in the moonlight.
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Our society, in short, is promoting an institution that only works, to be generous, for some 10 to 20 percent of us.
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There is something about dealing honestly with marriage that triggers people�s defensiveness and anger as do few other issues.
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And that gap between expectation and reality spawns more ills than one can bear to enumerate: first and foremost the sexual, physical and emotional abuse of children, the insecurity they are forced to endure as their parents spend much of their time bickering, fighting, living emotionally deadened lives often resembling zombies � and often wind up divorcing anyway.”
I going to end up quoting the whole article if I don’t stop now. It is a very good piece. I like so many that I know want that “perfection” embodied in the great marriages we see. I want to get married some day, realised that when at 14. I want to have a whole bunch of kids. Frankly it scares the shit out of me. I want to believe that marriage can work, really truely work. I have to believe that my “split apart” is out there and that we will find each other some day and live in bliss til death do us part. Then part of me feels that it one person will not be the answer. Like I have lots of friends, maybe I will need lots of Loves.
[via Baylink]